Just about every morning at 8 AM, I practice Tai Ch with a partner I’ll call B. B and I have practiced together on and off for 5 years. For 9 months, B and I have met at a local elementary school. B is same age my mother would be. My mother and I never did Tai Chi together. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think of B like she’s my mom. I just can’t help but wonder what it would have been like if I could have done Tai Chi with my Mom. It’s a thought that makes me smile.
B and I are always outside. Being Portland. sometimes it rains lightly, but most mornings we’ve been blessed with a clear sky. Most often there are crows perched high in the tree branches watching us. Locals from the neighborhood bring out their dogs to run and play fetch on the wet field. Some mornings the sky is pink and orange and some days its grey. Regardless we slip into our form and gently move through the morning trying not to wake the world.
Today after practice she gave me this poem. I can’t read it aloud without choking up. Maybe I’m holding on too tight to something.
She Let Go
She let go.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…
by Reverend Safire Rose