The AI Feast

Before we discovered fire to cook our food, we spent a significant amount of time chewing. Consider gorillas, who, according to a nature show I watched, chew for hours each day. Some mountain gorillas even spend half their day gnawing on their food. But introduce fire, and you have a barbecue. The food is prepared quickly, and our bodies don't have to expend nearly as much time and energy breaking it down for digestion.

This is how I view AI technologies like ChatGPT. They're revolutionizing how we consume and process information, aiming to foster knowledge. They encourage us to think about thinking, and in doing so, they can help us better understand ourselves. Indeed, before we can effectively communicate with others, we need to comprehend ourselves. By gaining a clearer sense of our own worth, we're more likely to treat others as though they hold similar value.

However, there's always the risk of veering off course, even with the best intentions. This happens easily when we mistake the model for reality. We've been gnawing on leaves, and suddenly, we're presented with an all-you-can-eat buffet. Considering the current state of global health—with many countries, if not the entire world, struggling with obesity and poor health—the implications of this new cognitive feast could be substantial. It has the potential to amplify both benevolent and malevolent powers.

In AI and the future of humanity | Yuval Noah Harari at the Frontiers Forum , Mr. Harari breaks down some of his concerns. He’s not worried about terminator robots, he’s worried about how easily people are persuaded to do things that aren’t in there best interest. He makes a compelling point about the transformation of algorithmic functions from attention capturing to intimacy. Ultimately, he appeals to us to appreciate the power of language and leaves me wondering how little we even understand the degree to which language (a technology, and the very thing that makes up all the blocks for all our models of the universe) can be hacked, and us along with it. Now go chew on that for a couple hours.

AI Alignment: First Principles

The Intersection of AI Alignment and Self Alignment: A Case for Physical Practices

I’m not going to beat around the bush, I’m just going to say it plainly. Achieving AI alignment is a goal that first requires self-alignment. We cannot expect to correct an external relationship until internal balance is maintained. Otherwise, we will quickly find ourselves adrift in our own delusions. So here’s my belief: teaching physical alignment through practices like martial arts (Tai Chi specifically) will help individuals mentally and emotionally prepare themselves while seeking AI alignment solutions.

Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation

Physical alignment practices help individuals develop greater self-awareness and self-regulation. By practicing mindfulness and present-moment awareness, individuals can develop the ability to recognize and regulate their own biases, emotions, and thoughts. This can help them approach their complex work with greater objectivity and clarity.

Fostering Empathy and Compassion

Physical alignment practices can also help individuals develop greater empathy and compassion for others. This is not only a critical skill for effective AI alignment but also for just being a kind person. Acknowleding our imbalance, our biases, means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable doesn’t take courage, it builds courage. A deeper understanding of this helps develop a deeper sense of connection and understanding with others. This allows us to take on and better appreciate the perspectives and values of different stakeholders. I’d say that was important to the development of AI systems.

Building Discipline and Resilience

Physical alignment practices can help individuals develop discipline and resilience. These are valuable traits for cybersecurity teams and other professionals working in the tech industry where burnout seems to be a critical issue. By developing the ability to focus and persevere in the face of challenges and setbacks, individuals can better navigate the complexities and uncertainties of AI alignment and cybersecurity.

Reframing Power and Conflict through Tai Chi

Practicing Tai Chi specifically means learning to approach conflict differently. The use of power is redefined because what power is and where it comes from is transformed. There is no clenched fist, there is no seeking of power. There is plenty of power all around, and more importantly within us. The problem is that we have been told that there is something wrong with us and something must be added. When in fact, it is the opposite. There is more to us than we can imagine and power is not force, but control, and knowing the minimum effort necessary is the best possible policy. Strength isn’t in the breaking, but in the holding up, learning to support ourselves and each other.

Conclusion: The Benefits of Physical Alignment Practices

Overall, by teaching physical alignment practices like martial arts to employees and cybersecurity teams, organizations can help develop the skills and perspectives necessary for effective AI alignment and cybersecurity. These practices can help individuals develop greater self-awareness, empathy, discipline, and resilience, which can ultimately contribute to more ethical and socially responsible AI systems. Additionally, promoting physical and mental wellness among employees can also contribute to a healthier and more productive workforce, which can benefit the organization in many ways.

I encourage you to consider incorporating physical alignment practices into your own life or workplace. The benefits are manifold and the impact on AI alignment could be profound. Oh, and if you need someone who teaches Tai Chi and is into cybersecurity- I know a guy.

Digital Humanism

Sam Harris and the inventor of Virtual Reality, Jaron Lanier

This podcast is from 2018, but don’t let that fool you. This is still important ground to consider. It provides a measure for what kind of changes have taken place since this conversation.

One of the biggest points here: the value of creative ideas. Ideas act as the building blocks for shared values. And culture emerges from shared values.

AI and the Great Filter

Lex Fridman & Max Tegmark discuss AI and the future of Humanity. I came across this podcast researching machine learning. What a treasure. These guys cover a lot of ground in three hours. Here are my favorite topics:

(08:15) – AI and physics
(21:32) – Can AI discover new laws of physics?
(30:22) – AI safety
(47:59) – Extinction of human species
(58:57) – How to fix fake news and misinformation
(1:59:39) – AI alignment
(2:05:42) – Consciousness
(2:29:53) – AI and creativity
(2:41:08) – Aliens

After you make it through the whole thing, please share with me what you think about the concept of the big filter?

Homo Deus

Notes on Homo Deus

Homo Deus: A Brief History of the Future by author Yuval Noah Harari makes you reconsider what you think you know about being human.

Here is my quick review of the book: I loved it! Just like his last two. But instead of just reviewing the book, I want to share my thoughts on some of the things that stand out for me in relationship to pain management.

Real quick though, this book isn’t for everyone. If you’re uncomfortable having your political, religious, philosophical, and general concepts of self challenged, then you will find this book disturbing on more levels than the author intends.

This book is a warning. It is trying to get us to pay attention, Like a passenger in car asking the driver to slow the hell down. You can’t take the turn you need at this speed.

I believe it also is a celebration of how far we have come and how far we can go. So let me throw this out there, if you cling to your belief structures like a life vest in an ocean of myths, this book is going to make you very upset, and it is going to deflate the concepts that keep your ego afloat. However, if you are looking for a better understanding of what are real challenges are right now, then buckle up because the twists and turns of history, science, psychology are going to make your head spin.

For those with short attention spans, below is a glimpse at the highlights of the book. For those who would prefer listening, here is a link (Yuval Noah and Steven Pinker) to a conversation with the author and Steven Pinker. My thoughts on how this applies to pain management follow.

-We’ve conquered- War, Plague, and Famine as the major mortality issues for humanity and next on the agenda for we will conquer death or become God-like in the pursuit.

-Spoilers: There is no soul, self, or free will as far as science is concerned and to believe so is to live in a fantasy world where you will be easily manipulated.

-The brain contains more than one mind and none of them knows what the other is thinking or why; and most of what you believe about the world (which includes yourself) is a confabulation (bullshit rationalizations) of these minds independent operations.

-The religion evolution went kinda like this: from nature to gods to a single god to nationalism to humanism and now data. Long live Data! In algorithms we trust!

-All medical science leads to augmentation science. We will be upgraded. Or at least the rich will be.

-Algorithms are everywhere and will rule us and we will like it because we are blind to the deeper realities of our existence. 

-The AI of the future will know us better than we know ourselves and we will either be their pets (if we are lucky) or their pests (if we are not lucky).

-The next class system will be based on human and super human.

Part 1: 

Why Are We Killing Ourselves?

After reading Homo Sapiens and 21 Lessons for the 21st century, I felt prepared for the author’s diagnosis of the current state of humanity and prognosis for its future. It’s not all doom and gloom by any means, just the end of humanity as we know it. Technically speaking it could be seen more as the continued transformation of humanity.

The book’s opening argument is that humanity has conquered War, Famine, and Plague as the major factors of human mortality. That’s 3 of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. Who doesn’t think that’s a good thing? To make its point the book presents some disturbing information on mortality that I had to stop and look into myself. 

1. More people die from suicide then violent deaths.

2. More people die from poor eating habits than starving.

3. By 2050, 50% the population of earth will be considered overweight.

Here are some mortality per year (2017) numbers from the CDC.

Heart disease-647,457 

Diabetes-83,564 

Alcohol related deaths- 72,500

Suicide- 47,085  

Overdoses 47,450

Vs

Homicides- 19,510

Firearm Homicides- 14,542

Mass shootings- 335

The top half of these numbers are all self inflicted.  The CDC website reports: childhood obesity has tripled since 1970; alcohol related deaths have doubled since 1999; suicides have increased by 30% since 1999; and overdoses are up 137% (200% in relation to opioids). 

The articles I came across reported that the majority of criminal acts that lead to violent acts involve the sell or pursuit of drugs. That means for the purpose of buying drugs to alleviate pain or making money by selling drugs to people who are in said pain. What about mass shootings? I think the majority of mass shootings are perpetrated by people who are on one level or another mentally ill and suffering from some sort of psychological and emotional pain. 

The common denominator for all these fall on spectrum of pain management. Drugs are used for (I am including alcohol here) reducing some kind of pain. Mental (emotional or psychological) and/or physical pain. Sure, lots of people use drugs and alcohol recreationally, but if drugs and alcohol are the recreation or needed to have any recreation, then odds are high that there is a hidden suffering not being addressed. What we are really doing is self medicating.

It would seem that a large number of people are under a daily burden that is inescapable without chemical assistance. Drugs and alcohol for the most part are our escape. So is sugar, or in general bad eating habits.

Why are we so sad, anxious, and disturbed when we live in the least violent and most prosperous age of human existence?

How many cavemen do you think killed themselves? I’ve asked this question to a few people and the answer I get back is none (note none of those people were anthropologist). While not scientific, the question makes a point. When life and death were a daily concern, people were to busy figuring out how to stay alive to consider killing themselves. When purpose was easily defined as don’t die today, people worked hard at staying alive everyday.  

It can be argued now that we no longer hunt or are being hunted we are haunted by an inner nature that no longer fits our environment.

The natural state of humans is to be concerned about getting killed, about having enough to eat. So, we naturally worry about things. In fact, its a feature of the brain. When the mind isn’t engaged in a particular task, the Default Mode Network kicks in. This is the part of our brain that has a tendency to ruminate and make us anxious. Its the portion of the brain calmed by meditation and attention training (quick self promotion: this is what I teach).

Worrying is a survival feature. Those who didn’t worry, didn’t live long enough to reproduce. Unfortunately, just because the natural threats no longer stalk us, doesn’t mean this feature for survival is no longer working.

The exterior environment may have changed, but our inner environment hasn’t quite caught up. We were born to solve problems. I mena real concrete problems. As in identifying the best tree to climb to sleep in so your a late night snack. We didn’t evolve to solve math problems or philosophical problems. Those are abstractions made possible by leisure and extreme access to resources. Those are fairly recent add-ons to the humanities skill set. We evolved to solve physical issues.

Our emotional and psychological health is tied more to our physical capacity for adaptation than being able to think your way out of an emotional problem.

In a way, life has become too easy and we have lost our resiliency. Our ability to deal with challenge, discomfort and uncertainty has shriveled like an atrophied muscle. Much like cell deteriorating effect of zero gravity on an astronaut’s physiology, the lack of constant physical strain/challenge has made us mentally and emotionally weaker.  

We now suffer from pain that we do not understand how to properly address. We have evolved to solve problems in an environment that no longer exists.

Instead of staying alive as the main function, we now are struggling with staying happy.

Our culture that has provided us a safer world has not prepared us to deal with ourselves. We wrestle and struggle with our thoughts and feelings. This leaves us with deep questions about worth and purpose that need to be addressed.

We are the most resource rich culture in history and we are killing ourselves hand over fist. It would appear that the more prosperous we become, the more likely we are to lose hope. What could possibly save us from ourselves?

This is important to appreciate because Yuval’s argument for humanities next agenda (now that we have conquered war, famine, and plague) is that we are going to conquer Death itself and transform humans into gods. 

Considering how bad we are at handling our feelings now, I wonder what kind of gods we will become.

Part 2

Kill The Gods, Long Live Data (continued in a week or so)

Cognitive Bias Codex: Cheat Sheet

BigThink has a quick cheat sheet for cognitive bias, reducing them to 4 basic groups.

1-There is too much information

2-We are always missing essential information because of how much there is

3-we Have to act quickly with limited info

4-Its impossible to remember everything

This Naked Mind

Considering I’ve gone the last 50 days without drinking any alcohol, I have to say that Annie Grace’s book, This Naked Mind, is the most influential book I read in 2019.

This book now sits in my martial arts section in between my Taoist meditation collection and various works on how to punch people in the face. That’s because this book is psychic dynamite. If you really like drinking, and are of the impression it’s not that big of a deal to tie one on from time to time, you don’t want to read this book. 

I didn’t begin to abstain immediately after reading the book, but my perspective changed in a single day. It was one of those books that made me so uncomfortable, I had to read it all in one sitting. Something deep down wanted to argue, wanted to put it off. I knew that something would keep me from ever picking it up again. So, knowing when my first impulse is to push back on something, that I’m trying to defend my position without considering it, I instead started taking notes. 

6 hours later my wife came home and I read my notes to her. I couldn’t get through them without crying. So yeah, it packs a punch.

In short, the book tackles social and cultural issues as well as the science of alcohol consumption. Not only does it cover how alcohol is marketed, the never ending campaign of you deserve a beer, it clearly lays out how alcohol changes the chemical makeup of the brain, making it impossible to perceive reality objectively long after you think you are sober.

I’ve read a number of books about addiction and alcoholism. They have each had something important to say but none have swayed me quite like this book to the mental ninjitsu of alcohol.

After each chapter I made notes. Most of which are very personal. Instead of sharing all of them, I’m picking out the one’s that are most straight forward, but it’s hard for me to hide my feelings. Here goes:

-Alcohol reduces the brain's ability to understand what is and isn’t a threat. Once it has affected your system, anything that keeps you from drinking is a threat. Family, friends, job, or hobbies.

-It’s a short term solution that has an exponential long term cost. Like borrowing money from a loan shark that charges 200% interest everyday after the original loan.  

-Alcohol doesn’t make you feel better. Instead your brain’s ability to process sensation overall decreases. 

-You aren’t more charming and you aren’t funnier. At least not in the way you would hope. But your ability to read social cues has lessened so you don’t notice the discomfort of others.

-The pain (often existential) remains, for when you wake up tomorrow, the pain returns often worse than before. But is hard to remember that, because alcohol affects memory. Though the alcohol allows for a short cut, or a short circuit, a quick fix as it were, to dull our social, emotional, and psychological discomfort, it can never make them go away. It actually increases our feeling of powerlessness, because “without alcohol, how else can I handle those situations?”  

-Uncomfortable emotions aren’t washed away, they are suppressed. It doesn’t make us feel more comfortable or confident in social situations. Instead alcohol makes it harder to empathize with people, and so we confuse a growing sense of indifference with comfort. You don’t get better at handling situations, you just care less how they turn out.  

-If it alcohol made you happy you would be filled with happiness by now.

-Claiming alcohol gives you pleasure is like saying it’s enjoyable to create blisters for the relief of taking off your shoes.

I can go on (I have 5 more pages of notes), but why try to rewrite the book? The Naked Mind made me challenge my definition of courage. It made me aware of my unconscious biases and gave me a way to examine my life more closely. It asked me to consider what I needed a break from and what I really deserved. It offered me a way to be more honest with myself and more present for the people I love. 

I have another 50 days to go on my 100 day challenge of no alcohol. Why did I make that choice? I needed to see for myself what life was like without drinking. I needed to discover tools and techniques to deal with the frustrations of life without compounding them. And ultimately I wanted to discover what my best was, without giving myself an excuse for failure. Good enough isn’t my best. And I, along with my family and friends, deserve my best. 

I challenge you to read this book. I understand you might be nervous, but I promise it’s worth your life.

Why Are We Yelling?

I recently had a falling out with a friend that I have known for many years. My friend had strong opinions and felt comfortable sharing them. I’m not known for my lack of opinions either. A fair amount of unspoken frustration had been building over various issues. We didn’t agree on a great number of items that our country now seems comfortable listing in the issues of the culture war. 

My friend and I live far apart so most of our communications existed on social media. Eventually there was the infamous back-breaking straw and I ended our digital connection. I didn’t like what they had to say nor how they believed they needed to say it. There was a quick back and forth that was more than enough for me to remove their access to my platform of choice. This led to intense name calling on their part and short derisive follow ups comments on my part. 

I don’t call people my friends lightly and considering how powerfully demeaning my friend’s responses were, I believe they were genuinely hurt by me shutting them out. Nobody won anything, and we both lost something.

I wasn’t proud of my part of the escalation and so I felt it was a positive step to try to learn how to better understand why arguments happen and how they transform into combative situations. Sense one of my vocations is teaching martial arts, I felt an added responsibility. Somebody once said, the best way to win a fight is not to have one. With this in mind, I felt arguing well was an important thing to study. Learning more about how to have a disagreement without creating an enemy would be helpful on a number of levels. 

Buster Benson’s book Why Are We Yelling?  Was the first book I competed for 2020. It helped me understand my own tendencies as well as increased my awareness of how other people are moved. Here are a quick set of notes from reading his important book.

-3 categories of argument: Head, Heart, and Hand. Sometimes we are arguing about very different categories. If we can’t identify what perspective we arguing from, then nothing can be resolved. Being right doesn’t change a persons heart. Not being able to appreciate where someone is coming from emotionally means we are blind to the reason they feel so moved by their point of view. Focusing on what is useful usually comes second to trying to change someone’s mind. 

-4 voices: Power, Reason, Avoidance and Possibility. The first three are our go to reactions. Power rarely solves the problems, but sure does make us feel safer. Reason makes us feel smarter, but facts can, no matter how many you find, don’t change minds and most figures and statistics can be argued to support a different point of view. Avoidance seems helpful when we are just tired of the same items of conflict that never change, so why bother, just ignore them. This leads to a festering issue that often becomes to big to handle. The last voice, Possibility, tries to move beyond narrow concepts of truth and tries to discover the person behind the argument and examining the unique events and personal experiences that lead us into positions we are compelled to stand our ground, even if that ground is quicksand.

-Cognitive Biases: There are 200-plus and they corral our brains ability to see past our own limited reactions to stress. You can’t escape them but you can learn to understand how they shape our patterns of thinking. 

CBs are mental strategies that help us deal with too much info and not enough time in a world where the more choices we have the poorer our decision making faculties seem to preform.   Rather than trying to discuss every single CB, Benson groups them in away that allows for us to see that CBs work as sets. 

-Benson covers big issues: immigration and gun control as well as abstract concepts like the belief in ghosts. He talks about creating safe spaces for discussion and the power of generous listening. And while it might seem obvious in bares repeating, the way a question is asked places us on better footing for the journey toward understanding what the best answer might be. The more open ended the better. Yes/No questions are moe likely to cause issues than they are to help resolve conflict.

The book covers a lot of ground.  Way more than I have glossed over here. I feel that whatever your personal opinion maybe, you owe it to yourself and the people you care for to consider how you might be wrong about needing to be right. Certainty isn’t as useful as actual problem solving. Being able to avoid deciding who is right allows to get to what will work. How is it we go about setting aside our need for a stark contrast of black and white and discover the world is made up of shades of grey? 

Just last night a friend and I were talking about climate issues and I listened carefully to the words he used to describe those who disagreed with him.  Much of what he thought about the people o the other side of the issue limited his capacity to work with those others who would be needed to make actually make the changes we all very desperately need. 

Much of the ammo we use to deride the other side comes from media. The media isn’t designed to make us better at solving our problems. One might argue that no matter what side of the argument you fall on about whatever argument you are having, most of our reasoning is given to us by a system that profits from escalating our differences into fears that produce conflicts that keep us from working together to help one another. 

Most of our talking points are not sought out to transform us, but to confirm what we already think.  Every opinion we have deserves to be examined with an awareness that we are afraid to be wrong. Benson’s book asks if we are brave enough to accept information that transforms how we think of ourselves. 

Ultimately we have to ask: what is the point of the argument? Isn’t it about being able to share the world we live in. Isn’t about living in a world that is worth sharing. Sometimes there may be no way around a fight, but before we get there, let's try to make sure we did everything we could to avoid it. 

I don’t believe mot of us want to make enemies, nor does anyone want to lose a friend.

The Baseline: Happiness Science

A whole lot of marketing focuses on happiness. Almost every advertisement begins with the assumption that you are not happy enough and what is offered will make you happier. People ask all the time, “Are you happy?” Do we know what we are asking about? What is happiness? What makes you happy? How happy can you get? How long can happiness last? Is it good to be happy all the time?

BigThink has some research on this elusive emotional skill, psychology, practice, currency.

“Activities such as exercise, expressing gratitude, altruism, and taking time to savor or appreciate the good things in life have all been shown to influence short-term wellbeing very much, and there is evidence that they can nudge that hedonic set point up the scale in the long-term as well.

Additionally, the hedonic treadmill is due, in part, to processes of desensitization and adaptation — we get used to things. Because of this, variety is a powerful means of combatting the hedonic set point's inexorable tug. Persistently engaging in a variety of positive activities or varying how one performs a given positive activity can trick your stubborn brain into actually feeling good about things.”

Cognitive Countering

Sam Harris’ Making Sense podcast has a bunch of great conversations. Of particular interest are two that focus on how the mind is built to make mistakes and methods for overcoming our cognitive biases.

Maps to Misunderstanding is a conversation with Daniel Kahneman author of Thinking Fast & Slow. Discover System 1 System 2 and the difference between the remembering self and the experiencing self.

Mental Models is a conversation with Shane Parrish from The Knowledge Project podcast. Which looks like my next info-binge.

How to Deal With Work Bullies

Bigthink has an article discussing sleep problems stemming from personality conflicts at work. The article runs down physiological effects of chronic stressful encounters at work and offers up a few basic ways to mediate the stress: Meditation, exercise, listening to music, taking a walk and volunteering.

Couple thoughts. Anyone who is rude or condescending is afraid of losing power or doesn’t believe they have enough to feel safe. In short they are cowards who are afraid to ask for help. This leaves them with only one option, take power from others. These people have already failed at making others happy. They probably had to deal with some other terrified person that taught them this behavior. Someone who could never be made happy.

So the bully cannot find their power in helping, because they themselves feel helpless. How can they support others when they feel like they are about to fall apart? So instead they gain power, in their minds, by seeing other people in pain. They can achieve at least that and to them that is the false evidence of their power or control. Their behavior reflects the internal aggression they feel toward themselves for not being able to make others happy. But I’m sure this is obvious.

Thought number 2, its not your job to solve their psychological issues. But it is your job to come to terms with the fact that these people rarely change their behavior. And even if you go somewhere else to escape them, there will always be another asshole.

You will have to be the one that changes in some way. Because fighting these people head on does nothing but escalate the stress and feed into their power myths.

First you have to know that they can’t actually take anything away from you. Their fear doesn’t need to be your fear. That’s them getting to set the terms of conflict. Resilience in these moments requires a strong knowledge of what you value. This gets tricky, because when I say value, people think of worth, as in materials or currencies. What I mean by value, is what do you give your attention to the most.

What gets most of your attention is the thing you give the most value. Its what gets the most power from you. If your attention is occupied by something that makes you anxious, then you will fall prey to the power myth.

If you value this person liking you, changing, or providing some kind of positive feedback from your relationship you are fighting their fight, which is a delusion. You are investing in the idea that power can be taken or earned. The trick is understanding that real power can only be given.

Last thought, the fight is not fighting. If there was a real fight it is training your attention. If you understand how much power you have and where it comes from, then you know you it can’t run out and so have plenty to give. Ultimately, this persons bully behavior is coming from a child who can not find enough love to feel safe enough to grow emotionally and play nice with others. That doesn’t mean you should be their parent. Just don’t waste your attention trying to defeat or please them.

Dreaming and Skill Acquisition

Bigthink.com has an interesting article on the lucid dreaming and learning. Particularly of interest is the conversation about activation of motor neurons and thought.

“Interestingly, Llinás noticed that thinking fires motor neurons, the pathway we use to move our bodies. He believes thinking is an internalized form of movement; what we call consciousness is a mental representation of this phenomenon. Our mental maps allow us to predict how to navigate our environment. Combined with memory, our inner GPS creates and constantly updates this road map of prediction: move here, don’t go there, act this way but not like that.”

I see Internal Dynamic modules as exercises that increase our ability to create better mental maps of our our environments.

Vipassana Notes: Body, Change, Thought, Feeling

There are a whole bunch of different types of meditation practices. I believe these notes are from a lecture on Vipassana. Provides some thoughts and frame work for meditative exercises and how to work with your attention.

Mindfulness of the body:
Be aware breathing in
Be aware breathing out
Breathing knowing short and or long
Experience the whole body breathing
Experience the wholeness of the breath
Calm the breath
Calm the body

Identify other bodily feelings
Meditate on them
Notice their length, Can you sustain you attention there
Do they shift to other places
Does they intensify, or subside

Changing nature of elements
“I am” identifying
What calls your attention becomes the object of the meditation
Notice how things are
How long until it changes
How long until your attention drifts
Be aware of the drift
See if u can catch the drift
As u send your attention
Around the body
Drift and return
What remains
When u are gone
Sounds happen
Sensation is effortless
Return to the breath
Open to your changing sensations
When do you drift
How long have u been gone
Calmly,  softly, gently w humor return and breath and be aware of breathing, there is a body.
End

Mindless of Feeling
Pleasantness, unpleasant, neutral
Feeling tones, habitual desire
Neutral is delusion
Clear recognition of feeling no judgement
Feeling from the physical body
Pleasant and unpleasant and neutral feelings
Contemplating the disappearance
of those feelings

The mind free of wanting
Mindfulness of heart/mind
Be aware Mind states and emotions
conditions
Desire, Greed, aversion, delusion or absence of.

What is and is not skillful. Leads to happiness or suffering.  What to cultivate?
Noticing the mind states. What is the minds attitude right now. Receptive or rejecting, clear or delusional, wanting or not wanting?
Concentrated or directed? Joy, boredom.

When you drift
Return to the body and repeat

Mindfulness of thought
I am aware I am thinking
It wanders naturally
The wandering mind is not the problem but the attitude.
Not prevent thinking but recognize when it arises giving u more space to integrate them
Unaware we act our thoughts
They become our inclinations
Skillfull Mind habits
What is the content of my thoughts
What is a thought
A passing thing
Notice the patterns
Am I Planning
Am I Judging
Am I Remembering
Am I Fantasizing

Notes on Mark Epstein's, Thoughts Without a Thinker

This year I invested in reading, studying and practicing meditation. One of the best books I came across was Mark Epstein’s Thoughts Without a Thinker . Rather than try to regurgitate everything I’m just going to share a set of questions/quotes/statements from my notes.

• Even pain can be interesting. Sitting in meditation is often about investing in the examination of discomfort. When it hurts is when you start learning. Pulling a way, trying to hide from pain gives it leverage. Welcoming it, trying to look at it closely, it transforms.

• Other people, our own minds, and death. These are our challenges. Our greatest fear.

• What are we afraid to learn?

• Resistance, you are that which u resist.

• Transitional space, your teddy bear, the security blanket. The totems that carry between the maturation points of our lives.

• These weeds, these waves, they will help u. The things that obstruct you, you need.

• Powers of observation, not judgement.

• How do u contribute to your pain?

• When something could have happened but did not. This lives in the flesh not the words.

• Meditation on your mother...carefully tread.

• The family is the worst invention of God that never existed

• Meditation has a certain culture bias.

• Am I lovable? Estranged or enmeshed?
  
  

Choking Under Pressure

Bigthink looks at studies of smart people choking and offers advice on how to reframe your goals.

Also, a link to an article discussing the neuropsychological mechanisms of choking.

“Smart people are more likely to choke in high-pressure situations, but interestingly this disadvantage seems to vanish when goals are framed strategically.”

Mindfullness Debate

How do you define Mindfullness?

“To be clear, mindfulness and meditation are not the same thing. There are types of meditation that are mindful, but not all mindfulness involves meditation and not all meditation is mindfulness-based.”

The Search for Meaning

bigthink has an article discussing Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts thoughts on the modern crisis of meaning and purpose.

"More and more each one of us is thrown on to our own resources. This seems to me an excellent state of affairs. So that in a symbolic sense we are back in the forest like the hunter of old who has nobody around him to tell him how to feel or how he ought to use his senses. He therefore must make his own exploration and find out for himself."

America is Hooked on Painkillers

Yahoo has an article that hits close to home. My mother struggled with a painkiller addiction my entire life. It destroyed her many times over. Her addiction got her arrested and institutionalized, more than once. She lost friends and a marriage. Over the years, she overdosed a number of times, until one day she did not wake. My moms’ younger brother, overdosed on the same medication not even a year later.

This is a deeply personal thing. Growing up around people suffering from pain and addiction has made me very sensitive to other’s suffering and I guess that’s why I do what I do. There are two telling quotes in the article that sums up a lot of the issue.

“The results showed that counties where marketing to doctors was heaviest had the greatest incidence of over-prescribing of opioids, as well as subsequent abuse and related deaths.”

and

Direct-to-consumer advertising by major pharmaceutical companies has also had a significant effect on pain management expectations in clients, says Chris Lee, a health care consultant and marketing manager at Family Health Centers of San Diego. “Unlike most countries, the United States allows direct-to-consumer drug ads. ‘Ask your doctor about [drug name],’ they advise patients. This generates demand levels that are simply not seen in other countries.”

Its not the final passing that is so horrible. It is the number of times you see their spirit die before their bodies give in. The article says 70,000 people died last year from overdoses. While the dead may be at peace, the living that loved them is a far greater number and their peace further away.

I miss you mom.

Time For A Mental Upgrade

If you haven’t figured it out by now, the world isn’t always what it seems, and people have a tendency to rationalize a lot of bad decisions they make. It’s simple really, our genes haven’t caught up with our culture and that means our brains are running on out-of-date programs.

What would be interesting is to see how we begin to adapt our education policies in relation to what our real issues are. Namely, understanding our limits and learning to compensate for our biases. Here is a list from BigThink of 200 things your brain is designed to get wrong.

Self Compassion Meditation

BigThink has a research article on the health benefits of Self-Compassion meditation.

Which brings us to a new study, conducted at the Universities of Exeter and Oxford and published in the journal Clinical Psychological Science on February 6. The research team assigned two short-term self-compassion exercises to 135 participants alongside control conditions that involved negative, neutral, and positive valences. The results: people feel better, physically and mentally, when they practice kindness.

Specifically, when practicing self-compassion, the volunteers experienced reduced arousal — heart rate and skin conductance, increased parasympathetic activation, heart rate variability, etc. Their nervous systems responded better when their mindset invoked kindness instead of excitability and agitation. It's an interesting finding, however "the underlying processes for this," as the researchers explicitly state, are still "not well understood."