I say, "50% speed," to keep the students from getting hurt. From my right, I hear the snap of a gi sleeve. The noise is an indicator someone is moving way faster than 50%. I turn following the sound and in this case the speed issue is with two new students running into each other and playing slap hands. No technique, no control.
I repeat with emphasis, "I said 50%. Slow it down." And right after a student's spinning heel kick just misses the face of another student. My mind's eye sees the heel crush the cheek bone. Part of me is always ready to call 911 or grab smelling salts. The kicker and the nearly kicked both stop in shock at the near collision and broken facial bones. Both students look terrified for a second, then smile, bow, and continue as I repeat the direction, "50%!" They move a little slower.
50% is a hard task when someone else is trying to hit you. What does that even mean, 50%? I'm learning to fight, right? Shouldn't I be giving it my all? Absolutely, but what is your all? Speed means nothing without control, so I say to the room, "Breath. relax." Some settle in, some keep on doing what they were doing, breathing heavy and fast through their mouths. Some pant, some hold their breath. Some slide around in circles, some hop back and forth, some switch feet looking for their angle. Most are red faced and sweating. All eyes are focused though, bright and intense. Sparring can wear you out fast, but it wakes you up. It makes you pay attention.
"Cover your head." Everyone raises their arms a little more. One student has his hands opened with the fingers spread wide, as he reaches down to block kicks with his fingers extended. Fingers vs shin? Shin usually wins. I know, so I bark out, "No Fingers."
I totally know about blocking kicks with your fingers. 8 years ago, the middle finger of my left hand tried to block the shin bone of a 6'7, 300 lb black belt's round house kick. His lower leg was the size of my whole arm. As you can guess his shin was not damaged. My finger, well...it turned into the letter Z. Dislocated and probably fractured in couple places, the finger had accordioned the first and second knuckle, folding it twice. I almost passed out when they yanked it back into place.
So I say, "Fists, not fingers." They dance around kicking and chopping, punching and lunging for a couple more minutes before calling time. They all bow to their partners. Some hug, some shake hands. I give them ten seconds between rounds to find a new partner, “This time lower belt to upper belt, please." Without being asked the upper belts raise their hands to let the lower belts know who to partner with.
There are mostly white uniforms in this class, all the belts are represented though. A few black belts are here to play today as well and I want to make the most out of it. They mingle throwing up their hands looking for their lower belt partners for the next round. There are four women in class and six guys.
One lady is a 2nd degree black belt getting ready for her 3rd degree test. She's fierce. She fights head-on, 3-punch combos and well controlled kicks. She seems like she has an endless amount of energy. I think it helps new women who come to class to see her intensity.
I say, "Upper belts use only sweeps and takedowns. You must be able to catch your partner. Lower belts pick a form." I point at each in turn and they name off the form they want to use.
They slip in their mouthpieces and check their cups with a little wrap of the knuckles and look at me to let me know they are ready. I try to make eye contact with everyone, making sure everyone looks like they're having fun. Some look tired, some frustrated. Nobody looks scared, so I continue, "Bow to your partner, spar carefully."
Sunday at 9:30 AM sparring class. Only bad thing about this class is I don’t get to spar. My job is to teach techniques, create drills, and watch over them to make sure no one gets over-excited. I’m not here teaching them how to fight. This isn’t training for the octagon. This is sparring, not fighting. But sparring can feel like its fighting. Adrenaline starts flowing fast when someone’s fist are aimed at your head. Blocking and dodging can be harrowing. You can get frustrated and embarrassed easily under these conditions, especially if you want it really bad. And some of these students do. They want it bad. They want to be martial artists.
Today is one of those days a student gets upset. While I'm looking one way I here the sound of a body hitting the ground. I turn and one student is reaching down to help their partner up. I call and end to the round and walk over to the student who hit the ground. Their eyes are tearing up and they are trying to hold back the waterworks. I'm not sure if its pain, shock, or embarrassment. I check in. They are little out of breath, but no broken bones. Yet they still don't won't to make eye contact. They walk away head down to change into their street clothes. When class is over and almost everyone else is gone, I ask again if they are okay. The student was still very upset, their eyes not watering, but they are red and they looked emotionally exhausted.
I assume they are embarrassed more than hurt and tell the student to not worry about the crying. “Go ahead and let that shit out." They nod, but don't say much and they leave quietly. I remain concerned I that haven’t properly addressed the issue. Thinking on it there were so many things I wanted to offer them, but didn't.
1- don’t get upset about getting upset. If you could have stopped the emotion you would have.
2- whatever emotion you feel like you are having; actually it is having you. Once the chemicals kick in, you are going to feel what you feel. That’s not your fault. Give yourself a break and feel what's going on w/out judging yourself.
3- all emotions pass. The main point is you get in touch with yourself and become more aware of your desire to improve. That means making mistakes is necessary. Learn to love them.
4- frequency with intense emotional states creates familiarity with the emotions and reduces their power. As long as you are aware of them as rising and falling states and not wholesale estimates of who you are. Get in the ring with your emotions as often as you can.
5- tough experiences help us discover our hidden reserves and deeper knowledge of what we can handle.